Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
