He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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