Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
