This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
