How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Randomize
