I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
