why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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