If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
