I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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