I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
