Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
