Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
