ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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