She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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