Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
