the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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