i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
