i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
