ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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