Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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