That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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