This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
