oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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