no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
