I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
