I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
