She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
soo... how was my night?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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