I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
