I think I just saw someone hide a body.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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