drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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