Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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