Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
