who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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