went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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