I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize