I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
