But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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