Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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