Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
