what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So I just went to clothing optional bar
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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