yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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