The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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