You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize