only if we run a train.
done.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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