I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
