I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize