Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
