I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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