I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
