My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
