Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize