when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize