Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
