He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
