I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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