This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize