i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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