A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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