What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
