Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
