It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize