YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Vodka?
Forever.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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