handjob tips. give me some.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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