I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
