I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Soap is not a condiment
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
