so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize