this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
