He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
