Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize