I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
