if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Mom said you looked used
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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