I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
