He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You pole danced in your parka.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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